Isolation
by cmfanbex
Summary: A look into how the team deals with the lies surrounding Emily's 'death'.  Spoilers for 'Lauren' and for the start of season 7.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**A/N Sorry for the long absence from . I have no excuses – the inspiration just wasn't hitting! Thankfully the start of the new series has got my muse working and this is the result:**

Aaron Hotchner stood at his office window, overlooking the bullpen below. It had been a long and painful few months for his team, but things finally appeared to be falling back into place. He smiled as he looked down on the once familiar sight of Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss ganging up on Spencer Reid. The only difference in this scene from previous occasions was in Reid's reaction to their teasing. The once awkward young man had changed hugely in the past few months. Whereas before he would have been flustered and confused by their teasing, now he was giving as good as he got; trading insults and laughing along with his colleagues. It had taken time, but Emily had eventually managed to mend her relationship with the two younger male profilers. There had been anger and recriminations, but they had eventually conceded that Emily had essentially been forced into the decision to fake her death and hide away from them all. They had made it clear that she had hurt them by not trusting them with the initial investigation into Doyle, but had accepted her apology and the heartfelt promise that it wouldn't happen again.

The team had been less forgiving when it came to his own involvement in Emily's disappearance. Whilst Rossi had been understanding from the start, Morgan, Reid and Garcia had been understandably hurt and angry. With Morgan, there had been a number of angry outbursts; whilst Garcia and Reid had responded with silence and clear distrust during the first few cases after Emily's return. His position as SSA in charge had, he realised, protected him from the worst of their anger on two counts. Firstly, they (even Morgan) recognised that, since he was their supervisor, they needed to at least attempt to stay professional. They had held back on their anger to a certain extent, although this had left a clear distance between him and his team. This led to the second benefit of his position – he was used to there being a distance and, to a certain extent, he was used to the isolation this caused. As time had passed their anger with him had dissipated slightly and, although there was still some discomfort between them, he finally felt that he was becoming part of the team again.

JJ, however, hadn't been quite so lucky. Once the team had become aware of her involvement in Emily's 'death' she had been almost immediately isolated. There had been no shouting, no recriminations, only a deafening silence and the occasional barbed comment. Rossi, again, had been understanding and was treating her no differently than before and Emily had obviously tried to be friendly and supportive, but it was clear that the rest of the team were feeling less than forgiving. Hotch sighed deeply as he saw that JJ was currently sat separately from the other profiler, apparently totally focused on work. She was paler and thinner than she had been before she had left to go to the State Department. It looked to him like the situation was slowly pushing her to the edge of her ability to cope.

He looked on grimly as Emily tried to include JJ in the conversation on the opposite desk, earning herself nothing more than a small smile before JJ turned back to her work. She seemed to have given up on any hope that the two men would want to talk to her. Hotch had tried to speak to them all about the situation, but his input had done nothing to ease it. JJ had merely shrugged and muttered something about not blaming them for their anger and the others had promised to keep things professional, but wouldn't concede to anything else.

As he was watching the team, JJ stood up and walked away from the profilers' desks. A moment later there was a knock on his door.

"Can I have a word Hotch?" JJ asked quietly as she entered the room.

"Of course" Hotch replied. "What can I do for you?"

JJ didn't respond to his question for a few moments and Hotch was just about to ask it again when JJ silently handed him a letter. He looked up at her questioningly.

"It's my letter of resignation" she said, her voice cracking with emotion as she spoke. "I can't work like this anymore and I don't think it's safe for me to be out in the field with the team. I don't think Morgan or Reid, or Garcia for that matter, trust me to have their back and I sure as hell don't trust them to have mine."

"I'm sure they…" Hotch started to respond before JJ interrupted him.

"No" she said emphatically, "they don't. They hate me. I don't blame them for it. I lied to them and I caused them a lot of pain. I hoped that they would be able to get over it eventually, but obviously they can't and I can't cope with working in this atmosphere anymore. I get enough hatred and recriminations at home. I don't need it here too."

As she spoke, the tears began to stream down her face. Hotch put his hand on her shoulder and gently led her over to the couch.

"What's happening at home JJ?" he asked. "Is it Will? Is he unhappy that you've come back to the BAU?"

"Will and I are taking a break" JJ said, trying desperately hard to get control of her emotions. "He went back to New Orleans 2 weeks ago for a month so he can have some time to think about 'us'."

"I'm sorry JJ" Hotch said softly, handing her a tissue. "Where's Henry?"

"At the moment?" JJ asked sardonically. "Right now he's in day care. If I get out of here before 5 I'll pick him up and take him home, otherwise I have to beg my elderly neighbour to look after him."

"Who had him when we were out of state last week?" Hotch asked, wondering how the hell the young woman was dealing with this.

"My Dad picked him up from day care and flew him back to East Allegheny" JJ answered, "but I can't keep on messing him about like this. He's already confused about where Will is."

"The hatred and recriminations you were talking about earlier?" Hotch asked. "If Will isn't around …"

"Henry doesn't understand what's going on at the moment and I'm the only person around for him to blame" JJ said, the pain obvious in her voice.

"Oh JJ" Hotch said sympathetically, "I'm really sorry. Why didn't you say something?"

"I thought I could cope" JJ said, shrugging, "but I obviously can't. I need to be home for Henry at the moment and I can't cope with the stress of being here with everyone, so I'm handing in my notice. I've got plenty of holiday due to me. If it's OK with you, I'll work until the end of the week and then use my holiday time to look for a new job."

"I think you need to think this through JJ" Hotch said calmly.

"You think I haven't agonized over this?" JJ asked angrily. "I used to love this job Hotch. I still love the people, even if I don't like them very much at the moment. But this is killing me and it's tearing my family apart. I can't do this anymore."

"At least give me a chance to speak to the others" Hotch said. "I'm sure, if they realise just how much that this is affecting you…"

"Even if they do" JJ argued, "I'm not sure I want to work with them again. The last few months have been hell and I don't think I can forgive them for that."

"That's fair enough JJ – totally understandable" Hotch said thoughtfully, "but you're obviously exhausted and stressed at the moment. You should be clear headed before you make a decision like this. Will leaving you with Henry is clear grounds for compassionate leave. I can give you up to a month to work things through with Will and to give yourself some time to heal and think."

"I don't know" JJ said, obviously undecided.

"I don't want to lose you JJ" he said, leaning towards her and looking into her eyes. "You are way too valuable to this team and I know that the others will realise that with time. You have been part of this family for 8 years and I'm not going to lose you again without a fight. Do you understand me?"

He watched as the emotion overtook his friend. The tears poured down her face and she could do no more than nod in response to his statement. Putting aside his normally professional persona, he put his arms around her and pulled her into a hug as she sobbed in his arms. Her emotional response was proof positive to him that she was on the edge of a complete breakdown and he cursed himself for not being more forceful with the rest of his team. He certainly wouldn't be holding back once JJ had gone home.

Eventually JJ calmed down and pulled out of his embrace, avoiding his gaze.

"I want you to go home now and get some rest before you pick up Henry" he said firmly. "I'll call you tomorrow to see how you are, but you can call me anytime if you need anything. OK?"

JJ nodded, looking exhausted, as she stood to leave. She walked slowly to the door, collecting the bag that she had dropped by the door on her way.

"Thanks" she said quietly, before slipping out of the door.

Hotch watched as she walked into the elevator, deliberately avoiding Emily and Garcia who were on their way out of the technical analyst's room. When Garcia looked up and gave him a questioning look he stared back at her, not even trying to hide his anger, before walking back into his office and slamming the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Penelope Garcia sat in her 'bat cave' slowly updating the FBI's case records. It was an excruciatingly boring, but necessary, job; one which she had now been working on for 4 hours without break. She checked her watch and was happy to see that it was time to take a lunch break. Clicking on her hands free system, she dialled Emily's number and waited.

"SSA Prentiss" Emily answered.

"Up for a girly lunch Em?" Garcia asked with a smile.

"On one condition" Emily returned, sounding uncharacteristically nervous.

"Name it" Garcia said.

"We invite JJ along as well" Emily said, sounding anxious but firm.

"No" Garcia said, equally firmly. She certainly wasn't ready to forgive JJ yet. The blonde agent, whom she had trusted implicitly for years, had lied to her to a degree that Garcia hadn't even considered possible. There was no way that she was going to open herself up to that again.

"PG" Emily practically whined, "It's been nearly 2 months since I got back. You've forgiven me and you're at least talking to Hotch. Why can't you give JJ a break?"

"You had no choice in what happened" Garcia said angrily. "You were unconscious when the decision was made and you stayed away to protect us."

"And JJ lied to protect me" Emily said with passion. "Why can't you see that?"

"I'm not having this conversation over the phone Emily" Garcia said, attempting to postpone the argument.

"Then I'll come to your office" Emily said.

"Can't we just go to lunch?" Garcia asked desperately.

"Not without JJ" Emily said firmly before putting the phone down.

Garcia sighed and waited expectantly for Emily Prentiss' arrival. A small part of her could see Emily's point. In her heart she still loved JJ and badly wanted to be able to forgive her, but she just couldn't set aside the amount of hurt and betrayal that JJ's actions had caused her. She realised that she was being irrational; she had forgiven Emily pretty much immediately and had managed to move on with Hotch eventually, but JJ was still a stumbling block for her.

"Hey" Emily said softly, sidling into the room.

"I guess I'm not going to get away with saying I don't want to talk about it" Garcia said hopefully, turning round to face her friend.

"Have you seen JJ recently?" Emily asked, sitting down opposite Garcia. "I mean, really seen her?"

"I…" Garcia faltered. "No. To be honest, I try to avoid her as much as possible."

"She looks awful PG" Emily said emphatically. "She's lost weight, she's pale. She is going to make herself ill. I am the reason that she is in this position and I can't let it go any further. We could all lose her if this carries on."

"It's not your fault Em" Garcia argued. "The decision to fake your death was made by them when you were still unconscious. None of this is your fault."

"That decision wouldn't have needed to be made if I had spoken to you all about Doyle in the first place" Emily stated firmly. "I put myself and all of you in danger. There was no choice but to fake my death. If Doyle had known I was still alive it would have put all of you at risk. Get pissed at me if you want to get pissed at someone, but cut JJ some slack. She doesn't deserve this."

"Even if it was the right decision" Garcia reasoned, beginning to feel some of her anger subside, "she could have told us. She stood by and watched us all grieve for you. How could she see us going through that and not tell us the truth?"

"You think it was easy for her to do that?" Emily asked forcefully. "I can't even begin to imagine how that must have felt. Come on Garcia; you know JJ. It must have killed her. I understand why you're angry; you have every right to be, but JJ is no more to blame in this situation than me or Hotch and it's not fair to keep making her suffer. She's suffered enough already."

Garcia didn't respond to Emily's last impassioned speech, taking some time to consider what she had said. She accepted every point that Emily had made, but was still struggling to understand why JJ had kept everything a secret and hadn't at least hinted to her that Emily was alive. The two of them had always shared everything and, if she was honest, a lot of her anger was linked to the fact that JJ had told Hotch and not her.

"OK" she said begrudgingly.

"OK what?" asked Emily, sounding hopeful.

"I'll go to lunch with her and at least listen to what she has to say" Garcia said, "but I can't make any promises about how things will go."

"At least give her a fair chance" Emily pleaded.

"When have you ever known me not to be fair?" Garcia asked, somewhat angrily, before flinching under Emily's searching gaze. She guessed she had been less than fair with JJ recently.

"Let's go and find JJ" Emily said, choosing to ignore Garcia's obvious discomfort.

Garcia stood up and followed Emily out towards the bull pen. Before she could walk through the door, however, she noticed JJ walking out of Hotch's office and towards the elevator. She was clearly trying to avoid looking at them, but Garcia could see the tears on her face. She looked questioningly up at Hotch, but he merely looked back at her, obviously angry, and slammed the door to his office.

"What just happened?" she asked, turning towards Emily.

"I don't know" Emily said, looking worried. "We need to ask Hotch."

"He looked angry" Garcia said timidly.

"He did" Emily affirmed, "but I'm more worried about how JJ looked."

Accepting the wisdom of this, Garcia followed Emily to Hotch's office and waited to be invited in.

"What happened Hotch?" Emily asked once they had been allowed into his office. "Is JJ OK?"

"She just tried to hand in her letter of resignation" he said broodingly. His barely concealed fury actually terrified Garcia for a moment.

"Why?" Garcia asked, confused. JJ loved this job… didn't she?

"Why?" Hotch shouted, finally letting himself go. "Are you seriously asking me that?"

"I'm sorry" Garcia stuttered. "I just…"

"You just what?" Hotch asked angrily. "You just thought that you, Reid and Morgan could treat JJ the way you have been indefinitely and she would just take it? You thought that you could continue to punish her for decisions that she didn't make alone and that she would just, somehow, cope?"

"Is she OK Hotch?" Emily said, clearly trying to calm the situation down.

"No" Hotch boomed, "She's not OK. She's exhausted and stressed and, frankly, verging on depression. She told me that she couldn't cope with working with you guys anymore. She said that she used to love this job, but that it's killing her. It took all I had to convince her to take some time to think this through."

"She's not leaving?" Garcia asked hopefully.

"She might not be leaving" Hotch corrected her heatedly. "I've given her a month's compassionate leave and she's going to take some time to think about it."

"Compassionate leave?" Emily said confusedly. "Is Strauss going to accept that?"

"There are reasonable grounds" Hotch said. "She's on her own with Henry at the moment."

"Where's Will?" Emily asked.

"He's gone back to New Orleans for a month to 'think'" Hotch said sarcastically.

"She's on her own?" Garcia said in a small voice. "Why didn't she ask me for help?"

"How?" Hotch barked again. "You were barely even looking at her. The only time you spoke to her was to pass some kind of sarcastic comment. How was she supposed to ask you for help?"

"Hey" a new voice interrupted them and Garcia turned to see that Derek, Reid and Rossi had joined them.

"Don't you dare shout at her Hotch" Morgan said menacingly. "You have absolutely no right."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I'm going to start with a massive thanks for all of the lovely (and not so lovely) reviews for the last chapter. I normally take great pride in replying personally to all of my reviewers, but this is the most I've had for a single chapter and I ran out of time (I'm assuming you'd rather I finish this chapter tonight?). So massive thanks go out to the reviewers I haven't managed to reply to: susannah2000, crazyobsession101, 00, sydcasy, EmmaEllieJane, lulubell76, dundeegirl1 and SkySydfan24.**

**Chapter 3**

"Don't you dare shout at her Hotch" Morgan said menacingly. "You have absolutely no right."

Morgan had begun making his way towards Hotch's offices as soon as he realised what the shouting was about. Once he recognised that Garcia was on the receiving end of their boss' anger he had started sprinting.

"What the hell is going on?" he continued once he had stormed through the door. "Have you lost your mind?"

"It's OK Derek" Garcia said tearfully, stepping between him and Hotch. "Its fine; honestly."

"No it's not fine" he shouted, trying to step around the woman in front of him to get to his boss. "This is bullshit. She's done nothing to deserve your anger Hotch. NOTHING!"

"Are you finished?" Hotch said sardonically, his faux-calm manner only serving to wind Morgan up even further.

"Hell no" Morgan shouted. "I haven't even started. You and JJ lied to us and watched us suffer for 10 weeks and now you're shouting at Garcia! What happened Hotch? Did she make you feel guilty? Is that why you're shouting?"

"Do I feel guilty?" Hotch said. "Of course I do; but that is not the reason why I'm shouting. I'm saying what should have been said weeks ago – to all of you, not just Garcia."

"Then say it to all of us Hotch" Morgan growled. "We're all here and I for one am dying to hear what you have to say."

"Thanks to you three" Hotch started explaining, "we're down a damn good profiler, possibly permanently."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about Hotch" Morgan said impatiently. "Do you think you could explain yourself a bit better?"

"JJ just tried to hand in her letter of resignation Derek" Garcia answered for Hotch.

"That's it?" Morgan demanded. "And you want us to feel guilty? I don't want JJ to leave Hotch, but I'm not going to feel guilty that she can't deal with the consequences of her actions."

"Derek…" Garcia pleaded.

"No baby girl" he said sharply. "We all have good reason to be angry with JJ and he has no right to make any of us feel guilty for our anger. You and JJ made a choice. You both had to realise that there would be repercussions."

"Of course we realised that" Hotch stated, "but you're going to have to explain to me why JJ seems to be the only one still left dealing with those repercussions."

"Don't worry Hotch" Morgan said sarcastically, "we're still angry with both of you."

"Then tell me, why is it that JJ is the only one who you're all ignoring?" Hotch demanded. "Why does she have to deal with the silence and the snide comments? Because I stopped getting that weeks ago and Emily never got it. We were all responsible for your suffering. We all lied to you. Why are you only punishing JJ?"

"I don't know about the others" Spencer Reid said quietly, speaking for the first time, "but JJ's betrayal was so much deeper than yours. You may have all lied to me, but you and Emily didn't really get to see just how much this was all affecting me. I went to JJ every week for the 10 weeks Emily was gone and cried on her. I laid myself bare. She knew just how much this was affecting me and she could have ended it, but she didn't. She let me suffer. I don't think I can forgive that."

"Do you think it didn't kill her to see all of that Reid?" Emily asked vehemently. "Do you think it didn't break her down to see you in pain and not be able to help?"

"But she could have helped Emily" Derek argued. "She could have told us at any time. She watched us all suffer and she could have stopped it at any time, but she didn't."

"She couldn't have told you" Hotch said, his anger obviously beginning to ebb as he heard the pain that his colleagues and friends had experienced.

"Why not?" Reid asked. "Why didn't either of you tell us? Did you think that we couldn't be trusted with the information?"

"Of course we knew we could trust you Reid" Hotch sighed, "but we just didn't have the authority. Try thinking about this dispassionately. Do you honestly think that JJ and I are at a high enough level to have been making those types of decisions?"

"No, but…" faltered Reid.

"But nothing Reid" Hotch interrupted. "The CIA and the Secretary of State made the decisions. I was told as Emily's supervisor and JJ was asked to act as Emily's contact in the State Department, but we were both told that no-one else could be informed."

"You still could have found a way to let us know" Morgan insisted.

"How?" Hotch snapped, beginning to lose his patience again. "How do you suggest we could have done that Morgan? Every person who knew added risk; risk for Emily and risk for themselves. You all know that Doyle would have stopped at nothing to get to Emily if he had found out the truth."

"But you know we wouldn't have told anyone" Garcia said, sounding hurt.

"I do know that" Hotch said with a small smile, "but we all know that, statistically, the more people who know something like that, the more risk there is of mistakes being made and information being leaked. However much we trusted you all, and we did – implicitly, we couldn't take that risk."

The room went silent as everyone in it digested this. Morgan was beginning to see the wisdom in Hotch's word, although a small part of him still felt betrayed. The more he thought about the situation, the more he recognised the agonising nature of the actions that JJ and Hotch had been forced into taking.

"Where is JJ?" he asked haltingly.

"She's at home" Hotch answered. "I've given her some time off to spend some time with Henry and to think about what she wants to do next."

"Is she OK?" Morgan asked; a part of him not wanting to know the answer.

"Come on Morgan" Rossi spoke for the first time. "You're a profiler. You know the answer to that question."

"I…." Morgan began to argue, immediately stopping when he realised the truth behind Rossi's words. His thoughts drifted uncomfortably to the last time he had seen JJ. She had been leaving the bullpen and walked past him on her way to Hotch's office. He closed his eyes and drew himself back into the memory, almost like doing a cognitive interview on himself. As she had walked past him she had given him a nervous look, avoiding his eyes. She was really pale and had dark circles under eyes and, if he wasn't mistaken, she had lost weight. He also thought he had seen unshed tears in her eyes. He sighed with frustration, both at himself and at the situation.

"What can we do?" he asked determinedly.

**A/N I'm not sure that I'm entirely happy with this chapter. One of the reviews for the last chapter has left me second guessing the characters' reactions and I couldn't get the right level of anger between Hotch and Morgan**. **It was either too much or not enough. I would really appreciate some feedback here!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

As the elevator doors closed behind her JJ sighed heavily. She was completely drained. She didn't remember ever feeling this exhausted, even in the tiring moths after Henry had been born. She felt almost as if she was floating outside of her body and was observing her life through a heavy fog. As the elevator reached the parking garage she wondered briefly whether she should actually be driving, but just as quickly put her concerns aside when she realised that any other option would involve her going back up to the BAU.

She walked to her car, dropped her bag on the passenger seat and sat herself in the driving seat. Remembering at the last minute to clip in her seat belt, she started the car and drove out of the garage. She was so used to making the journey between home and work now that she could practically do it with her eyes closed, so she let her mind wander slightly as she drove.

Handing Hotch her letter of resignation had been one of the hardest things she had ever had to do, but it had definitely been the right decision for her to make. She was grateful that Hotch had been able to give her some extra thinking time, but she was pretty sure that nothing was going to change in the next month. She realised that she had reached the end of her ability to cope and she would do anything to make sure she never felt this way again, even if it meant cutting herself off from the people who, up to 2 months ago, had meant everything to her.

She was shocked out of her thoughts by the sound of a car horn which sounded dangerously close. She snapped out of her reverie and desperately pulled at the steering wheel as she realised that the horn was directed at her. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had drifted slowly into the wrong lane and was now facing oncoming traffic. Heart beating rapidly in panic, she swerved quickly back into the right lane, grateful that the other car had warned her in time. She immediately pulled over onto the side of the road and turned the engine off, collapsing against the steering wheel and breathing heavily. She really needed to get a grip on herself if she didn't want to leave Henry without a Mom. She worried that, although this incident had been completely unintentional, there had been times in the last few weeks when she had fleetingly considered 'accidentally' injuring herself in an effort to avoid work. She had obviously not done anything about it, and now that she had been so close to it actually happening she realised that it wasn't what she wanted, but she had some very clear memories of being stood at the top of her stairs at home wondering what would happen if she 'fell' down and hurt herself. This scared her more than she could possibly say.

She sighed shakily and sat back against her seat, working hard to control her emotions. This was a warning shot to her. She knew she needed to take the time that Hotch had given to get her life back together. She needed to swallow her pride and really talk to someone about how she had been feeling and to at least see if she could work things out with her friends.

Breathing deeply, she turned the engine back on and pulled back into traffic, careful to keep her mind entirely on driving. It was another 20 minutes before she finally pulled into her driveway and was able to step out of her car and walk into her house. She tiredly walked into her front room, pulling out her phone so that she could set the alarm to wake her in time to pick up Henry from day care. Dropping her phone on a small table, she practically fell onto the couch. She kicked her shoes off and pulled a blanket on top of herself. Within minutes she had dropped into an exhausted sleep.

She was woken hours later by the ringing of her phone. She blearily reached over to the table and grabbed it, checking the caller ID before answering.

"Emily?" she answered questioningly.

"Hey Jayje" Emily replied. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better" JJ replied honestly.

"I'm sorry" Emily said genuinely. "I wish I'd…"

"You have nothing to apologise for" JJ interrupted firmly.

"I think we both know that's not true Jayje" Emily answered sardonically. "This whole sorry mess started with me."

"You've already apologised for that "JJ said sincerely, "and you have been the only thing keeping my head above water for the last few months."

"It wasn't enough though, was it?" Emily responded dejectedly. "I was wondering whether I could come over to see you?"

"I…" JJ started, slightly unsure.

"I totally understand if you want to be on your own tonight" Emily interrupted, "but I was thinking that I could pick Henry up from day care so that you didn't have to drive all the way back to Quantico. I could grab some take out on the way and then I could either stay, if you wanted, or I could just leave you and Henry on your own. What do you think?"

"You don't have to do that Emily" JJ said, considering her response.

"I feel like I do" Emily said firmly.

"That would be great" JJ said, thinking back to her moment of realisation earlier. She needed to talk to someone and Emily seemed like the perfect person. "I'll need to call the day care centre and tell them you're coming."

"That's fine" Emily said. "It's five o'clock he finishes, isn't it?"

JJ answered in the affirmative and they quickly made the necessary arrangements so that JJ could hang up and call Henry's day care. She easily made provision for Emily to pick up her son, before checking the time and realising that she had nearly two hours before they would be arriving home. She listlessly turned the TV on and flicked through, finding an old black and white film to watch. It was a matter of minutes though before she fell asleep again.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN I'm really sorry for the long wait on this one. I was in a bit of a dark place myself when I started it and I had to leave it alone for my own sanity! Good news is I'm feeling much better now and thanks to a few lovely reviews, felt the need to come back to it. Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long!**

**Chapter 5**

Henry had been flatteringly pleased to see Emily when she had picked him up from day-care. As she had picked him up to give him a hug she had realised just how much had changed in the time she had been away. She had only seen Henry a few times since her return, and now she took the opportunity to really look at him she could see that he had grown into a handsome little boy - no longer the baby she remembered.

"Where's momma?" he asked as she put him in the car seat that she had borrowed from Hotch.

"She's at home sweetie" Emily replied. "She wasn't feeling well, so she went home early."

"Momma's sick?" he asked innocently.

"She's very tired Henry" Emily said carefully, "and that's made her feel bad. She's at home getting some rest. Do you think you can be quiet when we get home so we don't wake her up?"

"But I want to see Momma" the boy said sullenly, kicking at the back of chair in his anger.

"No kicking Henry" Emily said sternly as she sat in the driver's seat and started the engine. "That's naughty. You'll see Momma, but you need to be patient."

When Henry didn't reply she looked back from her seat and had to work hard to avoid smirking at the exaggerated pout he sported. Wisely deciding not to push the child, she silently pulled out of her parking space and drove slowly through the rush hour traffic. Within 15 minutes Henry had forgotten his sulk and was filling Emily in on his day. He was just finishing a detailed description of his victorious climb to the top of the jungle gym when Emily pulled into the driveway of JJ's house.

"Don't forget we need to be quiet champ" Emily said firmly as she lifted Henry from the car.

"But..." Henry started to argue.

"No buts" Emily said quietly. "I know you want to see your Momma, but you need to be gentle with her, like she is with you when you're sick. OK?"

"I" Henry looked up as he began to argue again, but obviously thought better of it when he caught Emily's eye. "OK."

"Good boy" Emily said with a smile. "If you're really good, you can choose whatever you want to eat for dinner".

"Whatever I want?" Henry asked incredulously.

"As long as it's not just dessert" Emily warned.

"Pancakes?" he asked hopefully.

Figuring that one unhealthy meal wasn't going to be the end of the world, Emily agreed to cook Henry his pancakes.

"As long as you stay quiet until I've woken your Momma up." Emily qualified.

She heaved a sigh of relief as Henry agreed to her conditions, wondering when he'd become such a handful. He'd always been so easy going before. Was this just his age or had JJ's state of mind and Will's disappearance started to affect his behaviour?

She shepherded Henry into the house quietly, leaving him in the kitchen with some milk and a biscuit as she searched the lower floor for his mother. Pretty quickly she realised that the TV was on and that JJ was probably asleep in the front room, since she hadn't reacted when they had entered the house.

Slowly rounding the couch she could see that her guess had been correct. Her friend was sleeping, somewhat restlessly, on the couch whilst an old black and white movie played quietly on the TV. Looking closely at her, Emily could see the deep creases across her forehead and the dark shadows under her eyes. JJ was worryingly pale and had clearly lost a lot of weight. Emily sighed, this was all her fault.

"JJ" she said softly, gently brushing the woman's blonde hair away from her face.

JJ stirred slightly, but didn't wake.

"Jayje" she said, louder this time. "I've brought Henry home."

JJ's eyes began to flutter, eventually opening wide enough to stare blearily at Emily.

"Hey" Emily said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"Like my life has turned to shit" JJ said with a wry smile as she sat up and shook the blanket off her body.

"Only temporarily" Emily replied, sitting next to her friend and drawing her into a hug.

JJ initially tensed up, but eventually relaxed into the embrace and allowed Emily to hold her. They were silent for a few moments as Emily struggled to decide what she could possibly say to make JJ at least feel like her life hadn't come to an end. Just as she was about to pull away and start talking, they were rudely interrupted by an impatient 3 year old.

"I was quiet Auntie Em" he said, staring at her with puppy-dog eyes, "but I **really** want to see Momma."

"Hey sweetie" JJ said with a genuine smile on her face. "Come and give me a hug."

Henry charged at his mother and scrambled onto her lap, hugging her fiercely.

"Are you sick Momma?" he asked, looking worriedly into her eyes.

"I'll be OK honey" she said, avoiding the question. "What did you get up to at day-care?"

As Henry launched into a complicated (and mostly unintelligible) description of his day, Emily took the opportunity to subtly look around the room they were sat in. It was clear that JJ had been struggling to keep on top of things. Whilst she had clearly tried to keep things clean, the room was far from tidy. There were toys and clothes strewn across the room and there was barely an inch of space left on any of the surfaces. Emily had visited this house numerous times before and this was far from normal for JJ.

"... and Auntie Em said I could have pancakes for dinner!" she heard Henry say excitedly.

"She did?" JJ asked, smiling at the little boy's exuberance.

"Only if he kept quiet until I woke you up" Emily said with mock sternness.

"I **really **tried..." he said pleadingly.

"Well..." Emily said with exaggerated thoughtfulness. "I guess Momma gets the final say."

"You really should have something healthy" JJ mused, although Emily could see the glint in her eyes.

"I was planning on blueberry pancakes" Emily said, still sounding thoughtful.

"Well, in that case ..." JJ paused dramatically, "I guess that'll be OK."

"Yayyyyyyyy!" Henry screeched, jumping off JJ's lap and running into the kitchen excitedly.

"He's easy to please" Emily said laughingly.

"Not lately" JJ said, the darkness immediately back in her voice.

Emily took hold of JJ's hands a looked into her eyes, which were brimming with tears.

"We'll feed Henry and get him to bed" she said kindly. "Then we can talk. OK?"

JJ nodded silently, impatiently wiping the tears from her eyes. She then visibly braced herself before following her son into the kitchen.


End file.
